When we're thinking about towards the end of treatment, they're transitioning out of the program. Um, what, what has done at turning winds to prepare them to prepare the families? And what does, what does that look like?
Yeah. Well, there's, there's a lot of different phases that we go through. I think the, the important component that we focus on is Is kids are going to continue to make choices and struggle and continue to go through challenges And so having healthy relationships and a support system is key and we talk a lot about with our kids going home Oftentimes they don't have a great support system because they've created a support system of turning wins They've created it with the relationship with Carl or I or the relationships with the staff or with their students here.
And so they go home sometimes lacking a support system. And so we, you know, they, they have Carl's cell phone number all the time. It was one of the, the, the people to contact as a support, but we also encourage them to call back and talk to their parents. peers at times, and call in to talk to specific staff that we have, because sometimes it takes a month or two to build a new support system, to be able to carry that forward.
So as they're building that, they want to be able to rely on the one that they have. And so everything at Turning Winds is always relational. And so when you think about a good transition system, it still goes back to the fundamentals, which is healthy, productive relationships, whether that be with your family or with your support system.
So, so that's one of the major components of making sure that, that, that, that kind of team that you have built at Turning Winds gets continued on at home. Yeah, it almost feels like the, the, the relationship is at its peak at the end. And it's the timing of the transition work that we start, it's so intensive.
So the relationships that take place at the end have to be intact and they're super strong. And the evidence of that is the way that we're able to plan with the kid and allow the client to actually buy in fully into what they need, like kids. Kids will, uh, early on in their process, they'll say, Hey, I got it, like, I figured it all out.
I'm good. I got confidence. I could go home and I could maintain, and it doesn't take much for you to poke holes in it. All you got to do is say, like, well, how are you going to do it? Like, they think it's a willpower thing. They think it's just their, their, their mind. They can do it. And so part of what we have to do is help them understand the importance, like the value and the connections and the relationships they have.
And when they leave, they're effectively letting go of all of that. And they're going home to very little of it, right? They don't have anything established at home outside of their family. And so the relationships, those remaining intact for months after they leave is advantageous. Um, our phones ring, and I know the same could be said for Enix phone, but my phone rings.
All week long from former kids, like just today from this morning, I've talked to four, four former kids that have just called for one reason or another. And it's because they still identify me as somebody important in their world to stay in touch with. And, uh, and every one of those kids that calls me, usually it's the kids that I've worked the transition work with at the end and like do that intense work together. And so it's their plan. And then they reach out to us through their connections just for help with their plan, not even to change their plan. They just need to know how to do it, or they need some further guidance or just greater depth of support around some of the things they're trying to do.
One of the tools, um, so our kids. Our kids will stay in contact with us for years. We have a couple of kids that left two or three years ago that are now calling up to lead a group on campus, a sober group. Uh, so they call and lead a group. And so it's funny, they stay in touch with us for months sometimes, but they're still in touch with the turning one's family years to go and they're using it.
Just like Carla and I use this job, which is. This is for us as well. This helps us stay focused on our goals, helps us to be the kind of people that we're trying to be. And so our ex students, they are really good at mentoring, really good at, at, at understanding the tools that they need, and they are still eager to share that and be involved in that process.
And so one of the really powerful things we had, you know, just two Saturdays ago were, were kids calling in and leading that group, and it was only that group. Only the kids that wanted to participate at Turning Winds could go into that group and participate in that. And it was an extremely powerful experience for our kids on campus, because it was led by kids that weren't paid to do it.
They were kids that just are passionate about it, that want to continue to give back. And I know it was, it was powerful for our, our Turning Winds family that's not on campus. And, and the reason we respond and we stay in touch with four or five phone calls every day from past alumni is because if you're doing this in a genuine way, You're building relationships that last a lifetime, uh, that are staying connected.
And so it's really important for us to, to stay connected and to respond back. And, and not only when things are going great, not only the graduations, but in those tough moments, that's actually our favorite opportunity to say, you know, to show them how much we believe in them, to help them support it, to help them brainstorm those challenges.
And so, yeah, the transition process. Sometimes is we focus on 90 days post treatment, but really the transition process goes on and on, um, through the support systems that creates. And yeah, we feel very lucky and fortunate when a kid calls back and decides, you know what, I don't have to. But when I'm struggling, you know, this is the person I'm thinking about, You really, you're eager to sign up for moments like that, uh, for sure.
And if you're not a relational model, the chances of a kid calling you back when they're struggling are next to zero, right? Like, they're calling because of the relationship, not, like, who wants to call someone and say, hey, I just relapsed today? Or, or hey, I just made this really bad choice today. The answer to that question is quite a few of them as it turns out, but it's only because of the rapport and the relationship that they have, that they feel they're going to be met with a nonjudgmental approach where people are going to seek to align themselves with them and just try to support them.
Uh, I did a call last week, a former kiddo that's been home for a little bit and relapsed was really struggling. Reached out, did an individual meeting with him that did one with his mom. And by the end of it, it was like, Felt like a million bucks. Like, all right, we addressed it. We talked about it. We've got a new renewed focus and plan.
We've got a goal that we're trying to target and accomplish. Everyone's on the same page and aligned. It felt great. Like in that kid's mind, his world ended that day. He made a bad decision and he thought everything he'd worked for was dumb. And he just had to look somebody in the eyes that he trusted and respected and hear like, Hey, everything's okay.
You can't sum up. Your success in treatment based on one decision. That's ridiculous. That's absurd. Like, no one's looking to take away all the goodness that you took from treatment. You made a mistake. How do we address that? How do we move forward? How do you, how do you make it so it's less likely for this to happen in the future?
And, uh, and that young man had hope after that phone call and it wasn't because of magical words. It was because of relationships. It was a connection that he had. It reminds me of something that, that we talked to our parents a lot about. Oftentimes, Carla and I get most excited. About the misses, uh, about the challenges that come up, , sometimes the behavioral breakdown, sometimes some of those things, because the best work and the best opportunities and the really inspiring moments of being connected with these kids and families come from those moments come from when you see somebody confronted with something unbelievably challenging and their ability to really learn and gain insights.
And grow through that. And so I think about that kid's treatment process. I mean, his transition process was about the relapse, and it's really about the opportunity to teach. And so, I mean, I know the difference between doing that with somebody else's kid and doing it with my own. I get a lot, I get a little more hypersensitive about my kid's mistakes and hoping that they learn from it.
And I've got a lot of more peace and confidence in these kids at Turning Winds that These kids are amazing and they're inspiring and they're about to prove it to you again when they're given the support and when they're given a nonjudgmental, respectful, um, hopeful belief because we look at these kids and we believe in them.
We have this, uh, we have these onboarding meetings, uh, to, to introduce families early on in their stay to the concept of, of Turning Winds and the processes and what they're supposed to be expecting.
And I had this awareness during one of our recent, , onboarding meetings of like, there's this group of playful humans at Turning Winds that are all teasing each other and they're being very playful. And I'm looking at the screen with 15 different parents and, and everyone has this like sober, somber, sad presentation, they're not in with the excitement, they're still in the middle of the crisis, what allows us to be excited as we've done this for 20 years.
And I already know things about their kids that they don't know. Like I believe in their kids before they get here. I already have hope and I already can conduct myself. Having high hope for this kid that I've spent very little time with, but I've done this with thousands of kids and for 20 years, and I got hope in your kids, but there's no reason for us to be in despair.
We should be celebrating. They are safe. They're out of their immediate crisis and they're surrounded by professionals who are going to try to love them and care for them and get them there to meet their needs.
