When Teens Become Leaders Through Real Growth

What if leadership isn’t something you’re born with but something you build? In this episode of the Turning Wind Podcast, Kevin Zundl speaks with Enoch and Carl about how teens evolve into authentic leaders during their time at Turning Winds.

They break down how the program creates space for students to shift from self-focus to service, from insecurity to confidence. You’ll hear about real kids who found their voice, earned respect, and built lasting relationships by showing up for others.

Topics include:

• How leadership begins during treatment
• What makes the Summit level so rare and meaningful
• Why quiet teens often lead by example
• How validation from peers transforms motivation
• The role of service, consistency, and connection in building identity

If you're a parent wondering whether this kind of growth is possible, this conversation is filled with reasons to believe it is.

To learn more about Turning Winds, visit turningwinds.com or call 800-845-1380.

Transcript

 This is what it sounds like when you see a team that started in a place of struggle and developed into a leader. But knowing what I know about her, there's no question she's a much greater leader today having. Gotten out of her own way, and it's just being able to be present for people. Welcome to the Turning Winds Podcast.

My name is Kevin Zundl. Turning Wind provides a full continuum of care for teens, would benefit from clinical and academic support at the most pivotal time in their lives. Today I speak with Enoch and Carl again to discuss the topic of leadership in teens and what it takes for a team to achieve that at the highest level.

If you could tell me a little bit about the leadership program at Turning Wins. Our leadership program typically begins at about the third or fourth month of a student's journey. We want them to be able to come in and be able to understand the work that they need to be doing and focus on themselves and leadership.

Is the design for us is we want them to be able to understand what their core issues are and their challenges are, and to be able to role model working specifically on their challenges. And so leadership at fraternity wins looks a little different with every kid, and we wanna sort of tailor fit their specific journey with how the leadership program works.

So there's some fun privileges attached to leadership. They do get a backpack and they get some snacks and they get some additional. Activities, and we even have a, we have a leadership lounge for our kids to hang out in that's separate from the rest of the group. So I think there's a draw for our kids to be in that program, but I think the real draw is there is validity from their peers and maybe from staff that, that they're doing the things they need to do in treatment.

Uh, and I really think they want that validation that says, man, I'm, I am, I'm working on my goals. I'm working in. With my clinician. I'm working in school, I'm working in the program. And it's interesting, a lot of our kids, I, I think back to a kid that, that came in, that a lot of our kids have some social challenges.

They, they struggle with interacting with their peers and understanding they've never seen themselves in any kind of leadership way. And this kid came in and he struggled with social dynamics for many months and he went home not too long ago. And through our leadership program, he developed. Mentoring skills, how to support other kids that come through the program.

He developed sort of his own voice in understanding how to advocate for himself and speak up on his behalf. And he left being in our leadership program for many months and being able to see himself in a way that he had never seen because in a social group, he had always felt like he was on the bottom tier of that social group.

But by the time he completed his leadership program at Turning Wins. He was really on the top of the Turning Winds social hierarchy in that program. And so everything at Turning Winds is designed to improve self-worth at the core of it. And leadership is a, is a validation and an opportunity for us to validate kids that are working hard on themselves, but really helping them find their own voice and then use that peer support to mentor and help support kids that are coming up and going through the process.

I think what's interesting about it too, I think some of the leaders that I've known over the years didn't consider themselves leaders initially, and really until they were given the chance or saw the way other people might see them, which is different than they perceive themselves, which, which is good, but it's also a, it's a nuanced way of being of service in a lot of ways too, that they get to look at other, look at a situation and try to manage it or help other people's.

Process a situation or deal with a group dynamic in a way that they have to figure out how to make it work in a positive way. And I think something like that will help them for years and years to come because it's not something that we're necessarily born with. Yeah, yeah. Which is interesting because you'll hear that spoken of by a lot of kids' parents.

They'll say He's just this natural born leader, and I think I understand what they're saying. My kid's got some natural qualities and traits. That makes him uniquely ripe to, to be in some sort of leadership capacity in this life. In reality, our leadership program has no good leaders because they're young kids that don't know a lot about leadership and haven't lived a lot of their life contemplating other people and looking outside of themselves.

And so when I think of leadership and turning wins, it isn't that just the next great step for all of us when we stop living for self. We start understanding that life and this world is bigger than just US and outside of us, there's much more to be had. And so here, when they enter into our leadership program, it's not an admission that they're good at leadership and that's why they're in there.

It's the recognition that they're not, and the leadership program is where they can come in and develop the actual tools and skills necessary to lead. Leading. Leading is so much more than just having a good presentation. Leading is a skill. And so in our leadership program, we're trying to actually give them genuine skills and tools, not develop their personality, but actual black and white skills and tools on how to lead and influence people.

And understanding that life is so much better when I am aware of the people around me versus just myself. There's, I think, something to be said for the fact that they believe the process because they're seeing other people go through it. And when you see other people develop. It says, maybe it's possible for me.

So if they had someone who started out the same, that came through the front door the same way as everyone else, and they became something a little bit unexpected, a little bit great, and they said maybe it's possible for, it's a reason to believe. Does that make sense? Yeah. Yeah. I think that happens. I do think that.

Regularly receive inspiration from their peers and watch people role modeling. Good stuff. You know? And it's interesting though, I think, are they able at that point, to conceptualize and internalize this kid, change this world, and now as a good leader, even if they're just going through the motions, like, I'm watching this kid and I'm watching the way that life's validating them, the way they're showing up, the way they're being spoken to.

Even if it's just a strategy, I'm gonna try that. But there's real, no real buy-in other than just trying to have the experience I'm watching other leaders have. And then once I'm in that position and I start having the experiences, even if I feel like a phony at first, oh man, now I have to go try to be helpful.

When it's not my nature to go and find this kid that's struggling and try to be helpful. Now it's a task and I'm gonna go do this. And that's how we change our nature as we start doing the things that we're not comfortable doing. Start doing the things that aren't natural for us. And the leadership program is where they get some bumpers and they get a lot of guidance and a lot of clear black and white instruction and skillset on how to actually go out and do this thing that we call leading.

What does that mean? And part of the design is as kids are learning and growing and they're taking from other leaders or they're taking from their, the adults, their parents, they go from. From doing because they feel like they need to do. But when they start to lead and they start to teach the next generation, they're slowly translating their understanding of it.

And as they're communicating and as they're teaching, it's slowly becoming, they're taking more ownership in it. And so we're very, that's by design that, that as soon as you start to teach and understand things, you understand it better. You start to own it. So at the beginning, they adopt these behaviors and these patterns because they're asked to do it because their parents or their program expects those things of them.

And slowly through habits and through doing it, it slowly starts to become theirs. But when you are helping a new student come in and learn some of the things that they've recently learned, and you're communicating those to 'em, I think it sinks into our kids better and has more validity. And stays there longer than when you're just taking it in from somebody else.

So they really need to translate it and take ownership in, in either those behaviors or the concepts that help 'em get to leadership program. Have you received any feedback from parents? I think they would probably be sometimes the most shocked that their child came there in one state and then all of a sudden.

You're hearing about them thriving and doing this, what do you hear from parents around this? They think, again, I always think back to a certain family or a certain kid when you're asked those questions, and we've got a lot of kids that sometimes they'll make, it'll be hard to make eye contact or they aren't.

They're inverted that they're introverted, excuse me. They don't talk a lots socially. And so some of these kids become really great leaders by example. I, I, I'm thinking of a kid who, who recently just went on a home visit, and he is genuinely respected in our community as one of our strongest leaders, and yet it's really hard to get 10 words in a row out of him, but by his example, by when somebody is struggling, he's the first one to sit next to them and to sit there and support them.

He's the first one to, if some, if there's a challenging. Conversation, then he is the first one to stand up and say, you know what? This isn't appropriate for me, and walk away. And so leading by example with some of these kids. I mean, our families are blown away at the fact that these kids aren't, aren't able to articulate it all the time, but they're able to role model it really well, and it's been fun.

I think a lot of families, Kevin, their first instinct is to be cautious and guarded when they see this human that's exemplifying some of these leadership qualities, integrity, verbal assertiveness, as they're being these different humans, I think parents have a tendency to look at that with a degree of skepticism because they haven't watched it develop.

I think what really ultimately blows families away is when they accept that, whoa, this isn't an ax. This isn't something that my kids just brought to the table because I was here. This is something that they were able to sustain for four or five days with me, and they haven't done that in years. And so it really is the, there's some shock value because it is such a contrast before and after, from the last time they shared significant time and space with their child.

They were in absolute crisis and in a period of darkness, and now they're reuniting with their kid and celebrating in the light, and it's just a such a vastly different experience for the parents. To be honest, I'm not sure exactly how that goes down. It's gotta be quite an experience for families, so to wrap their brains around having that.

So today we had the fortune of doing a Summit interview, which might be a podcast on its own. Kevin, we did this summit interview with a kiddo and summit's our highest level of achievement at Cherry Winds that you can achieve. I would say probably less than 5% of kids, maybe five to 7% actually. Get that's that level.

It's not a requirement to finish treatment. You're not, it's not looked at with any degree of judgment of you were successful or failed based on you getting this. And really it's just an opportunity for people who really want to be exceptional and set themselves apart from everybody else. And so how many kids have we had?

30, 25 a hand on a handful. In the grand scheme of things, it has not been very many. And so we were talking to this young lady today who ended up getting her summit. It was the first one we've had in a while, which is pretty exciting. We were talking to her about kind of her evolutionary process when she started out in leadership.

She was a anxious, nervous, talked a million miles an hour, needed to sell herself to everybody in every situation on how great she was doing. She needed to over intellectualize things to bring value to herself. She needed validation of other people, and as we're looking at, that was the version of her when she started our leadership program.

Today as a summit kid, she recognizes that one of her great hindrances in her leadership was her communication because the fact she talks so much and listens so little, and so now she listens. Now she doesn't ramble. She doesn't talk like crazy. She doesn't need to be a person with an opinion on everything.

When someone shares a story, she doesn't instinctively feel the need to share a better story. She just sits back and observes and listens and watching, seeing how that has. Her leadership hasn't made her more vocal. It's actually made her more quiet. And that's been a beautiful development and her leadership style.

And some kids that are super quiet, they end up developing a voice. And so yeah, everyone's journey is just a little different. But I was thinking of Alex thinking on paper. She probably looked like more of a leader and the way that she conducted herself six months ago. But knowing what I know about her, there's no question she's a much greater leader today having.

Gotten out of her own way, and it's just being able to be present for people. Leadership also requires you to invest in your peers, and a lot of our kids struggle with relationship. They struggle with judgment of others and close-mindedness. And so her journey was she had to get to know all the girls, she had to invest in them, and she was able to gain and learn and grow so much from all the different kids She.

If either supported or was supported by it. I think that's one of the hidden secrets, is the investment in relationships and connection and how you can gain from everyone. So I know she really gained from that process as well. If this gives you hope that the right people in the right setting can make the difference for your teen, I highly encourage you to listen to the many other episodes here and consider hitting the like and subscribe button to make sure you don't miss out.

And also try taking a second to pick up the phone and give Turning Winds a call to share your situation at 800 845 1380. There's also a wealth of resources available to you on their website@turningwinds.com.